


Missed Communication

by crazyjane



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Dialogue-Only, Feels, Gen, Humor, Miscommunication, Past Character Death, Pre-Canon, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyjane/pseuds/crazyjane
Summary: It's the public memorial service for the fallen Ben Hargreeves. Everyone will be in attendance. The world is watching.Ben has no intention of going to his own funeral - but to make his escape, he needs to persuade Klaus.And Klaus? Still hasn't quite figured out how to juggle talking to his dead brother and to the rest of his family when they're all talking at once.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	Missed Communication

**Author's Note:**

> So this was inspired by a comment on Pinterest imagining Klaus at Ben's funeral, side-eyeing him the whole time. And then I thought, would Ben really want to go to his own funeral?'

_Let’s go, Klaus._

‘Nope. Uh-uh.’

‘Klaus? Did you say something?’

_Let’s just duck out._

‘No.’

‘Oh. Okay. It’s time to go in.’

_Look, I can’t go on my own, so you have to come with me._

‘No way.’

‘What do you mean, no way?’ 

_But Klaaaauuuus ..._

‘I’m not talking to you.’

_C’mon, you don’t want to be here, I **definitely** don’t want to be here._

‘Shut. Up.’

‘Goddammit, Klaus, do not be difficult about this.’

‘Give him a break, Luther. This is hard on all of us.’

‘Allison’s right. Can’t you just stop being Number One for a bit?’

_Aw look, they’re fighting over you. That’s sweet. Let’s slip out while they’re distracted._

‘This is about showing a little _respect_ , Diego.’

‘Dude … _no_.’

‘All right, that’s it. You’re coming in right now.’

‘Hey - oww!’

‘Luther, stop, let him go!’

_Yeah, Luther, let him go, we’ve got places to be._

‘Will you just stop talking, _please_?!’

‘What … Klaus, I …’

‘Don’t take it out on Vanya, she’s just trying to help.’

‘Not her - him!’

_Getting bored now._

‘God, why are you doing this to me?’

‘Because the least you can do, Klaus - the _very_ least - is go to our brother’s funeral and keep your mouth shut and just behave yourself for a while.’

‘Luther, everyone’s staring.’

‘I’m taking him inside, Allison.’

_Damn, I wish I could poltergeist-kick him or something._

‘Well, you can’t, because let’s face it, you can’t do anything but stand there and bitch.’

‘Oh, we’ll see about that!’

‘Yeah, nice going, beat him up in front of all the cameras. You’re a goddamn bully, Luther.’

_Can we take Diego with us?_

‘Diego? Are you nuts, no way do we want him to -’

‘Wow, okay, fuck you, Klaus.’

‘Luther, come on, leave him. Let’s go.’

‘Fine. You can stay out here. Show everyone how didn’t give enough of a shit to be there to say goodbye to Ben.’

_Good riddance. It’d still be good if we could get Diego to come with us._

‘I suppose you want to take Vanya, too?’

‘I’m going in. I can’t … I’m trying to be sympathetic, Klaus, but honestly …’

_And there they go._

‘There they go. Are you happy now?’

_I’ll be happier when we get out here so I don’t have to look at photos of myself anymore. So … where to, first? Arcade? Pier? Ooh - how about laser tag?_

‘You’re making my life hell already.’

_Drama queen. I only just got here._

‘How long are you planning on sticking around to be a pain in my ass?’

_You tell me, Klaus. You’re the ghost whisperer._

‘Yeah, and you’re _literally_ the ghost in this relationship!’

_You must have some idea._

‘No, I don’t, I barely get how any of this works, you know that.’

_So I could disappear tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. Or …_

‘Maybe. I don’t _know_ , man.’

_Or maybe never?_

‘What?’

_I could haunt you for eternity. That’d be sweet._

‘Oh, god.’

_I thought you liked that I wasn’t gone._

‘Come on, that’s not fair, it’s just … are you gonna be there all the time? Like, watching me when I sleep, or take a shit, or, oh god, what if I wanna fuck someone?’

_You’d have to find someone who wanted to do you, first. Someone with **really** low standards._

‘Hey!’

_But to answer your question, no. There are things I don’t need to see._

‘Well, that’s something, I suppose.’

_Klaus … are you really that pissed about me being here?_

‘What? What gave you that idea?’

_Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you’ve done nothing but bitch since I showed up? Look, if you really don’t want me around, I’ll …_

‘Hey, no, I didn’t …’

_I don’t know, maybe I can find a way to move on or whatever it is that’s supposed to happen when you die …_

‘Okay, stop it with the martyr act.’

_It’s okay. I know you hate your abilities. I don’t want to make it worse for you._

‘Ben, just shut up a minute, will you? I don’t … hate you being around. I mean, yeah, you drive me batshit sometimes, and I’m _really_ not sure I can deal with the constant snark-from-beyond-the-grave, but … you’re my brother. The only one I can stand, okay, except Diego sometimes, when he’s not being a … anyway. It was always us against them, and then when you … when it … I thought you were _gone_. And that was … that was like the end of the world.’

_Klaus …_

‘But you came back. I woke up the day after and you were just … _there_ , giving me that look.’

_What look?_

‘You know, the look, the one that you used to get all the time, after missions, when you knew people would freak out about your, you know, friends. Like you thought I was gonna freak out.’

_But you didn’t._

‘No, I didn’t. Well, maybe for a second or two, but mostly I was just so fucking happy to see you that I couldn’t think of what to say.’

_You said, what are you doing here?_

‘And you just said “Boo,” you asshole.’

_And here we are._

‘Yeah. Here we are.’

_So what now?_

‘Now? We go find an arcade. Or go to the pier.’

_All right!_

‘But no fucking laser tag, you hear me?’

_Party pooper._

‘Live with it. Oh, wait, you can’t.’

_Low blow, man. What happened to being happy I was around?_

‘What can I say? You’re a captive audience, now, you have to listen to my jokes.’

_God, you can be an annoying shit sometimes, Klaus._

‘Yeah, but you love me.’

_Yeah … I do._


End file.
